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The Right Hook, a weekly segment which covers the machinations of the right wing, from the Republican Party to the Tea Party Patriots, and beyond. By Chris Bennett

Given the large amount of Fox and other news coverage of Glenn Beck’s “Honor Rally,” it’s likely you didn’t miss this news story. Addressing fewer than 100,000 conservatives, Beck did not attack President Obama or race-bait African Americans as some expected. Instead, he slathered the Constitution, the Founding Fathers, and the military with “God-talk.” In his zeal to militarize civil society, Beck bestowed three self-designed Merit Awards to civilian honorees in the categories of hope, faith, and charity. In The Gospel According to Beck, the awards are based on George Washington’s Order of Merit awards which FDR re-designed into the modern Purple Heart given to soldiers wounded in combat. Beck closed with a sermon in which he stated that “we all have to go to God Boot Camp” so we can then lead the planet to safety. Amen.

Bjorn Lomborg, self-styled global warming skeptic famous for attacking climate scientists and the media for exaggerating the rate and effect of global warming, has also had a Come-to-Jesus moment. Lomborg will announce in his new book that climate change is one of the most pressing issued facing citizens of the planet, and “a challenge humanity must confront.” Lomborg calls for investing $100 Billion annually in wind, wave, solar, and nuclear energy development. Lomborg also calls for building better sea defenses, and better global healthcare. It is his ideas on “climate engineering” such as artificially whitening the clouds to better reflect solar radiation back into space, that sound like a job for . . . God.

In 1995 and into 1996, Newt Gingrich and the Republicans shut down the federal government and cost taxpayers $800 Million. Gingrich once bragged that the reason he forced the shutdown was because then president Clinton snubbed him by making him sit in the back of an airplane on a trip to Israel. Now, already eyeing potential electoral gains this November, Republicans can’t wait to shut down the government again as a gambit to deny funding for the new health-care bill. Erick Erickson, editor of the right wing blog Red State tweeted “I’m almost giddy thinking about a government shutdown next year. I cannot wait!” New Gingrich himself, at an Americans for Tax Reform breakfast, stated “A simple majority can refuse to fund. So if you have Boehner as speaker and Mitch McConnell as majority leader, all you have to do is not write into the appropriations bill the money.”

Fox News correspondent Dick Morris, who used to visit prostitutes to satisfy his toe-sucking habit, has a new fetish for shutting down the government. Eying the federal government as a giant foot with 310 million toes, Morris wants to bind it. Speaking on August 27th at an Americans for Prosperity Defending the Dream meeting, Morris put a foot in his mouth and said “Now, there’s going to be a government shutdown, just like in ’95 and ’96, but we’re going to win it this time, and I’ll be fighting on your side.” Sam Stein, political reporter for the Huffington Post, points to a poll in Newsweek that shows 52% of Republicans agree with the statement that Barack Obama sympathizes with Islamic Fundamentalists who want to impose Sharia Law around the world. This is another example of knee-jerk schizophrenia of the political right who can believe two totally opposite things at once: On one hand, Obama is a liberal who wants to teach sex education in the schools, and allow women access to abortions. On the other hand, Obama is a secret Muslim who conspires to ban all of these things.